Malignant Self-Love easily earns a 5 star rating. As a narcissistic abuse survivor, I've purchased many self-help books on Narcisissim. This is the compendium on everything Narcissism. Malignant Self-Love is suitable for family members and partners looking for answers as well as therapists who look to expand their knowledge on this very misunderstood and prevalent personality disorder. Knowing how to identify and understand narcissism will both protect you and greatly assist to heal following toxic partnerships which could be friendships, familial, business and more. Undetected narcissists can cause so much harm. Malignant Self-Love provides clarity from THE expert and pioneer in the field of NPD, Sam Vaknin. The chapters and sections are so well divided and listed in the table of contents. The topics are easy to navigate. So many behaviours that haven't been mentioned in any other book have been so well explained here. See the page-count of this book. To say this book is thorough is no exaggeration. I own the 9th Edition. I recommend purchasing the brand new and revised 10th Edition of Malignant Self-Love for the most up to date information. Read more

Es un libro con demasiada información y sin embargo trata de ser amigable para la comprensión del lector. Read more

I purchased this book after watching a documentary on 'Egomania' in which Sam had featured to lend his knowledge, but i was further intrigued when Sam himself revealed that he is in fact a diagnosed Narcissistic The honesty with which this book is written is astounding; I'm not sure how much of himself Sam had to put in to this but the information held within seems to suggest that the author has willingly taken apart and penetrated the deepest and possibly most painful layers of of his being or at least that of the type of person we categorize as being a Narcissistic personality, and this alone makes the read captivating. But just as importantly, we see the narcissist revealed absolutely and completely- bare for all to see; How do they see others? How do they see themselves? How do they see the universe? Where does this grandiosity and relentless pursuit of narcissistic supply at the expense of others feelings stem from? The effectiveness of psychiatric treatment for a narcissistic- I could spend all day listing the areas covered, but let's just say that this book leaves no stone unturned. Know that this book is not for the faint hearted reader; it is not a casual flick or a broad outline of the condition- it is deep, it opens your eyes and it reveals to you the darker reality of this condition. I confess that i was one of the ones who found the idea of a narcissist humorous and giggled at the mental image of a person spending all day looking in the mirror and kissing it whilst exclaiming to the world 'look at how wonderful i am'; well narcissism in some cases may be that but it is infinitely more complicated and dreadfully more serious, i have been disarmed from ever being able to pass ignorant judgement upon this unusual and terrible disorder again, and if you read this book you too will not see these people the same way again. If you want to know narcissism- the real deal, this is the book you need to read. Read more

Changed my life Read more

It’s anoying that there are no page numbers at all in this book. Amazon should not allow this. Read more

This is an essential book, even if you're not a mental health professional. With his balanced and accurate writing, Professor Sam Vaknin draws attention to the terrible and diverse forms of abusive behavior perpetrated against children in their own families, and how this trauma spreads to all aspects of people's adult lives with massive impact to their affective relationships. Read more

Dr. Vaknin’s book; Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited, is the most comprehensive book I have found on the subject of narcissism. It truly is an excellent book for anyone looking to learn about narcissism. This book is a wonderful book that provides a bird’s eye view into the mind of the narcissist. Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited isn’t a small book (707 pages!). However; it thoroughly explores the topic of narcissism. I am sure that; like myself, the majority of those who purchase Dr. Vaknin’s book are looking for answers to the deep questions surrounding narcissism. You don’t know what you don’t know. That is why; Dr. Vaknin’s book is so valuable. It provides you with information regarding narcissism that will result in many “ah ha moments”. It will allow you to begin processing your own experience with the narcissist. Being able to process your experience and having particulars regarding your situation come together really does so much to facilitate healing from the pain that the narcissist has inflicted upon you. This deeper understanding of narcissism is essential for moving on from your relationship with the narcissist. Dr. Vaknin’s book discusses narcissism in a straightforward manner. One of the main strengths of this book is that it is beneficial regardless of whether the narcissist in your life is a family member, friend, or significant other. However; it does address relationship specific considerations. If you are just beginning to research narcissism; Dr. Vaknin’s book is one that you need to purchase at the beginning of your search. It is certainly a book that you’ll refer back to as you learn more and more about narcissism. Because Malignant Self-Love: Narcissism Revisited contains so much information the table of contents are especially helpful. The very intuitive TOC makes it so easy to flip right to information on certain topics pertaining to narcissism. Other reviews have mentioned that Dr. Vaknin isn’t a licensed mental health professional. This is accurate and is worth noting. However; there is much value in learning from Dr. Vaknin as a self-identified narcissist and his work surrounding the topic of narcissism over the span of many years. It is important to note that until someone has been involved with a narcissist they don’t understand the nature and dynamics of such a relationship. Even mental health professionals who have had extensive training may have no idea what they are getting into when they have a personal experience with a narcissist; either professionally or personally. So; again, Dr. Vaknin’s book is extremely beneficial because of his own experience and expertise. A few things that I want to say to anyone out there who is reading this that may be hurting: You have so much worth as a person. You deserve to be valued for who you are. You have the right to feel safe and secure in your beliefs and happy in your world. How the narcissist treated you wasn’t your fault. Know that the narcissist’s behaviors are the result of his own character make-up and who he is as a person. People are not people to the narcissist; they are objects, placeholders, and once they have served their purpose they are discarded. This lack of ability to truly connect and feel is what makes it so easy for him to treat those who love him horribly and discard them cruelly. Despite what the narcissist might have said or implied; you aren’t a bad person. All of those things that he has blamed on you in his paranoia; you are not responsible for. Avoid begging and pleading with the narcissist as he is not going to provide you closure in the relationship. He doesn’t want peace or closure as he still wants to obtain narcissistic supply from you in any way possible. Even if you have been discarded by the narcissist, he still sees you as an extension of himself. So; in his mind, you are still his possession and permanent personal belonging. It doesn’t matter if he has a new source of narcissistic supply. In that case; he just has his cake and ice cream too. Remember that anything you say to the narcissist will be used against you; especially your weaknesses. The narcissist is incapable of communicating from a place of sincerity. The more you try to communicate with him on a level ground; the more he will resist. This is because discussions about feelings and emotions are too intimate for the narcissist to handle. That and you might ask questions that he won’t want to answer; such as about his past. The narcissist is hard enough on you without you also being hard on yourself. Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break. Don’t berate yourself for things you could have or should have done “better”. We all fall short sometimes and we all make mistakes. However; no matter what you do or how much you try, you will never be able to please the narcissist. Think about what might have contributed to the perpetuation of the dysfunction that occurred. If you place a man on such a high pedestal; he is going to come tumbling down. However; this really feeds the ego and encourages a sense of entitlement as well. Likewise; if you continuously accept responsibility for things that are not your fault or you ignore the narcissist’s behaviors or minimize them, you are giving him the green light to continue them. The most diabolical thing about narcissism is that the narcissist uses our strengths against us; being loving, caring, trusting, open, and loyal. The narcissist crushes your hopes and dreams and causes so much emotional damage to your heart. However; he views himself as the perpetual victim and even though we may have already spent years more concerned for his feelings than our own, he still expects us to put his feelings above our own even after everything he has put you through. Break free from the narcissist and care for yourself! Put yourself first for once and think of yourself and your feelings because the narcissist never did and he never will. Don’t feel guilty for caring for yourself because when you neglect yourself it impacts every facet of who you are; all the way to your soul. Imagine taking all of the love, care, and concern you feel for the narcissist and turning it inward onto yourself. You deserve that because you have been through so much. If you want to be yourself again; you have to cut the cord that connects you and the narcissist. He thinks you won’t. However; you must be the person who cuts the cord if you want to be healthy and happy again. Every day you don’t cave to the narcissist; you’ll become stronger and more of the woman you were before he systematically torpedoed you. Stay strong and keep moving forward. Remember; in the world of the narcissist, everything is about him. Things won’t miraculously be different in his future relationships. You deserve to be respected and loved for the wonderful person that you are! Purchase Dr. Vaknin’s wonderfully informative book and learn as much as you can about narcissism. It'll be the foundation from which you'll learn so much about narcissism. Having a narcissist in your life is something that is so devastating. It isn’t so easy as to just read a book and you’ll miraculously feel better. It takes time to learn about narcissism, relate the things you’re learning to your own particular situation, and process things. These steps are able to occur only after you’ve let go of denial of the reality with the narcissist. Then; your heart has to catch up with your head. Don’t be discouraged or try to rush yourself through healing from the narcissist. Healing is a process. It takes a long time to get to the point where you have had enough. However; in that time, so much has happened. So; it stands to reason, that it will take a long time to fully heal from the narcissistic relationship. You have to allow yourself to reflect on everything and grieve for the person you lost. At the core of it all is that there is love for the narcissist; the person that you had so much respect for and wanted to share your life with. It is hard to accept the loss of this person from your life and realize that; like a chameleon, he’ll go on to be someone totally different with someone else. He was never truly who you believed he was. Prioritize yourself. Be good to yourself and be patient with yourself as you work on healing from the narcissist. Collect the pieces of your heart and move forward with your life. Your best days are ahead!